There is no shortage of advice regarding emotions and decisions making during a divorce. They all agree: don’t go it alone. Finding the right experts such as forensic accountants or financial experts, investigators, actuaries, and others is usually the attorney’s domain. However, finding expert counseling and emotional support is equally vital if you want to get to the end of this arduous process intact mentally.
Because divorce affects almost every area of your life, from economic status to friendships and pets, it will have a substantial psychological impact.
Studies show that emotions cause us to make rash decisions. As cortisol levels increase with stress, your brain begins to feel foggy, negatively impacting decision making. During contentious negotiations, this can be dangerous and lead to the tendency just to want to get it over with.
Beware of routine advice freely given that may lull you into a false sense of security or denial. For example, there is the “3-hour” rule, which counsels that unless there is a real emergency, don’t react to anything your spouse says or does for at least 3 hours.
And there is very sound advice to exercise consistently and regularly. Again, good advice but not always easily followed while your life seems like chaos.
If you have ever needed support in your life, this is the time to get it. Your highest priority is to find unbiased but empathetic individuals to support you through the process.
If you have carefully chosen your attorneys, they will often prevent you from making bad decisions. Your attorneys should have a good list of forensic experts at their disposal.
To manage your emotional health during divorce negotiations and proceedings, you need to construct an adequate and appropriate support network that may include the following:
- Therapists are highly trained professionals to varying degrees, some of which specialize in divorce counseling. A therapist can be anything from a licensed social worker to a licensed psychologist. Take your time and do the research, don’t be afraid to ask around.
- Family support may be tricky because people tend to take sides and be judgy. Approach your family members carefully and use their support appropriately.
- Friends are another sticky area, so proceed with caution. Remember that your support network needs to provide you with a balanced view and not merely act as an advocate.
- Support groups provide you with a safe environment to vent. They may also help to know that you’re not alone.
- Specialty online counseling is now available.
- Focus on your kids. Kid focused decision making changes the negotiation equation. The court is always constrained to seek the children’s best interests, so it makes moral, emotional, and legal sense for you to do so as well.
- Use your support team appropriately.
- Take good advice even if you may be uncomfortable with it. If we had the expertise, we wouldn’t have to hire experts, so listen carefully. If necessary, get a second opinion, otherwise use the resources you’re paying for.
A cautionary note.
It is not enough to assemble a team of experts and support. You must utilize them properly to benefit. Do not try to use your attorney as a therapist, and do not take legal advice from Aunt Betty. Remember, your therapist is not your friend, and your friend is not your therapist. If you understand and respect the role of each member of your team, you will receive the maximum benefit and be able to make well-considered decisions.
The Brodie Friedman legal team provides clients with exceptional advice and personalized attention, by making your case our immediate priority. If you’re in need of excellent legal representation our team is here to help you.
With over 30 years of combined experience, Jason Brodie Esq. and Joshua Friedman Esq. will guide you toward realistic goals and provide committed advocacy toward achieving them. They are known throughout South Florida for dedicated client service, tenacity, and success in complex divorce litigation involving property division, child custody, and spousal support.
To get a better understanding of the qualities our reputation is built on, contact our office in Boca Raton to schedule your initial phone consultation (561) 392-5100